My life has changed significantly since this time last year. Last September, I was a Freshman at Texas Tech University, studying Theatre and English, trying to make it through each day the best that I could. I made a few friends in college, but for the most part, I didn't really make friends; I had theatre acquaintances, and that was about it. College never felt right to me. I did a really good job of secluding myself from my peers in college. Days on end, I would hide out at my grandmother's house where I stayed half of the time, rather than the dorm room that I paid to live in. I didn't sleep well; I would stay up forty hours at a time if I could do it, and a lot of the time, I really wouldn't socialize with people. It's not that I didn't want to see people, but I never really felt like I fit in there. I just couldn't get it all right with the people that I was around.
Unfortunately, staying by myself all the time was my downfall. After I decided to withdraw from Texas Tech, I went home for Christmas break, and in January, I came back to Lubbock, planning to live on my own. I thought that I was ready. Let me tell you something: I wasn't. I had a breakdown when I got back, and ended up in the hospital, forcing a chain of events that were very strange and very difficult to overcome. I ended up living with my Godmother north of Dallas from February through mid-April. While there, I got a dog, Malcolm, who stayed with my Godmother because he's happier there, and his brother is also there. By mid-April, I made the decision and for my own well-being at the time, I moved back to Maryland with my parents.
Maryland... back with the family. I got a new haircut and tried to reconnect with old friends. That... kind of didn't work. But through it all, just the first week I was back there, I met these two guys who ended up being really close to me through the next few months I was there. One was a friend, the other... well, he's my boyfriend now. Has been since mid-May. Also, (because for some reason I feel like she's always been there so I forgot to mention her, although she knows how important she is to me *COUGH*) Mandee came to live with me because of her home-reasons, having another important person in my life. She's become like a sister to me, and she was one of the few good things that came out of moving back to Maryland.
I didn't think I'd meet someone like Chris-- that's my boyfriend. He's a strange guy, but he's my guy. Never thought I'd get as close to someone as I did him. And I love him. So when he left to come to Texas to start a new life, I stayed in Maryland for a month and a half. And you know what I realized? It's like through everything, nothing felt right with him being gone. So, I packed up my car with all of my things and I headed down to Fort Worth to be with him. Now, we are looking at apartments, and he's got a really good job. I'm still looking for a job that will make me happy and pay the bills.
Right now, life is kind of odd. It's a little bit hard and often, it's been throwing me some curveballs, but I'm trying to get on my feet with it all. I'm looking so forward to this new life that I've been given the chance to live. I'm happier than ever. I have my man by my side, and we are doing really well. So what is there to worry about? I'm just taking it one day at a time, seeing how things go. I don't really know where I want to go in my life right now, but I'm going to get there someday. I'm just glad that i made it to where I finally wanted to be. And I couldn't be happier.
